The Birthday Boy is a Sucker
by Kane the DFWM Seme
Summary: It's kind of late. KakuHi! Not HiKona! Hidan got Konan pregnant! What! Just read please, it's good.


**A/N: Sorry it's kind of late. It's a April fools/ Hidan's birthday fanfic dedication.**

**Warning: Just fucking read it!**

**Disclaimer: To lazy, go look up who owns Naruto.**

The Birthday Boy Is A Sucker

Hidan woke up at 11:00 a.m. on Friday, April first. He relished the fact that he was able to sleep in and not have to go to one of Peins' stupid meetings. His dearest partner, Kakuzu didn't even wake him up. Hidan was in no doubt in a very good mood after a very good rest. He stretched his pale and long arms, shaking his silver hair back and forth. His bare chest and bottom half covered with black cotton boxers looked perfect and sexy. He was perfect and sexy. He sniffed his armpits to make sure they didn't smell and found that his deodorant from yesterday held up well. He put his hand down his boxers, scratched his ass, and wiped his hand on his boxers. Ok so Hidan was perfect and sexy when he wanted to be. He walked into the Akatsuki kitchen where all the other members were. Kisame was cooking, Kakuzu was reading a news paper, Itachi was painting his nails, Sasori was making a puppet, Konan was rubbing her belly through her cloak and everyone else was chatting delightfully. Konan almost seemed worried about something. Konan spotted Hidan and frowned deeply. She headed out of the kitchen and motioned Hidan to follow her. Hidan was confused but followed her none-the-less.

When Hidan was in the living room with Konan she began to talk, "Hidan we need to talk about something important."

Hidan only nodded his head.

"I-I'm umm….," Konan paused a second and took a deep breathe, "pregnant with your baby."

Hidan's jaw dropped and he could only stare. What the fuck? He couldn't get Konan pregnant because he would never ever screw her! What would the others think? What would Kakuzu think? No! Now Hidan was sweating and he thought he might puke any moment. He didn't love Konan, he loved Kakuzu! Although Hidan was sure Kakuzu didn't love him, he still didn't want Kakuzu to think he knocked up Konan.

"You-your joking-g, r-right," Hidan asked, trying to force a small chuckle.

"No I'm not, I'm being completely serious," Konan replied, her face filled with sadness.

Hidan now officially freaked out. "Oh my fucking Jashin! How could this shit possibly be fucking happening," Hidan screamed, hyperventilating.

"Shut up, the others will hear you," Konan said, worried.

As if on cue, the other Akatsuki members walked in. They saw a nervous and sweating Hidan with a tired and worried Konan.

"What's going on her," Kakuzu asked, taken aback by Hidan's behavior.

"I'm pregnant with Hidan's child," Konan said, dead serious.

Hidan looked like you told him his mama was the president. Kakuzu looked sad and betrayed. The others looked shocked.

"No! It can't be mine! You must be mistaken," Hidan said desperately.

"No, it has to be yours. You're my one and only," Konan replied.

Hidan shook his head, sending sweat drops from the tips of his silver hair every where.

"No! I wouldn't! I couldn't," Hidan shrieked in denial.

This time it was Konan's turn to shake her head. Hidan met Kakuzu's eyes but Kakuzu looked away disappointed. This cause Hidan's magenta eyes to fill with tears. Hidan turned to Konan again to make sure she was serious and she was. This sent Hidan over the edge. He started to cry hard. Then he ran to his room, slammed the door shut, and locked it. He sunk to the floor with his back on the door and tears covering his angelic face. He flopped down onto the bed, stomach-first. He smothered his face into his pillow and cried until he couldn't any longer. He fell asleep, hoping that the day would come an end quickly. After all this had been the worst day ever.

Hidan woke back up at 3:00 p.m. The day was a blur of unhappiness for Hidan. He did 5 sacrifices that day. Kakuzu had been sending him sad and longing looks through out the day, not helping Hidan's depression. Konan kept trying to get closer to him and talking to him. Deidara even wished him congratulations on his father-hood, which only made Hidan tear up and almost cry again. Usually the Akatsuki went to bed between 1:00 and 2:30 a.m. but tonight they wanted to go to sleep at about 12:00-ish. Hidan didn't want to go to bed, he decided he was going to punish himself by not going to bed and when everyone asked him when he was going to bed, that was his answer. Konan couldn't take it anymore, she felt bad.

"Hidan, your going to hate me for saying this but I have to," Konan said nervously.

Hidan's only reply was a "hmm" and a sad face glance.

"April fools," she shouted, trying to act excited.

Hidan looked horrified.

"Yeah everyone knew," Pein said, hooking his arm around Konan's waist.

"E-everyone," Hidan questioned and looked at the others.

Deidara looked down, Zetsu nodded his head, Tobi tried to grin, and Kakuzu looked away with guilt in his eyes. Hidan started to cry again and screamed profanity at the others.

"It's not even April first anymore! It's April second, my fucking birthday," Hidan screamed at the top of his lungs, pointing at the clock that said 12:03. Kakuzu pulled Hidan into a tight hug and kissed him forcefully. Hidan closed his eyes and let the tears stop. So April first was shit but maybe his birthday would make up for that.

**After note: I'm so mean to Hidan-sama.**

**Please review!**


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